


Where He Used To Have a Heart

by Tezca



Category: One World Series - TL Morganfield
Genre: Angst, Gen, Lost Love, Songfic, implied Cuauhtemoc/Ixtlil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 19:48:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1561940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cuauhtemoc visit a beach on the death day of his past lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where He Used To Have a Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Martina McBride's song Where I Used To Have a Heart and I realized this song fitted Cuauhtemoc from the One World Series by TL Morganfield really well so this fic was born and I had to write it.
> 
> Lyrics and title are from the aforementioned song.

_Where I used to have a heart_  
 _Feels like a mile wide ditch_  
 _I got a hole inside_  
 _The doctor just can't stitch_

\-----

It was appropriately cold, bitter and cloudy on this day, just the right weather to fit his mood of despair and great loss. This was a day of sadness where every year where he wouldn’t be the mood for giving a genuine smile or laughter as he goes through the business of the day. Some years are better and Cuauhtemoc found after a large time gap that he can still have a nice day on the anniversary of Ixtlil’s death, but it was never a great and happy day for him. Instead most of the time, he would rather lock himself up in his room or office and getting lost in the codexes and various books in an attempt to forget.

The memories would just end coming back in a flood of vivid imagery of that fateful day: his lover lying in the cot, the blood loss, the final goodbyes, watching him die right in front of him, and it didn’t help matters much that he accidentally gave his nanites to his son who had turned out to be a traitor. It was just another deep wound on top of an already deep wound on his soul. 

Whoever said that time heals all wounds must’ve been an idiot because it has been 400 years since and he still feel more depressed on this day than the rest of the year and he can’t help but remember all the good time he had with Ixtlil. 300 years and he still feels the bitter pain of loss that leaves him feeling hollow inside. Like he doesn’t really have a heart anymore.

On this year he found himself making the trek up to Alaska, he told everyone that he wanted a 3 day retreat, which was true, but he told everyone it was because he was getting stressed out on Emperor duties and needed a few days of relaxation. The current Cihuacoatl was understanding and had told him that he deserved it for working so hard. 

He also didn’t want to be recognized so he wore casual clothes and put his hair up when he got on the plane. He didn’t remember much of the trip to the beach, too lost in the memories of the good times, the times of which he’ll never be able to relive through again. Why did this have to happened? He thought as he stood on the beach, the waves crashing and the cold wind blowing in his hair. 

He was currently clad similarly to how he was dressed the morning after the his friend’s death, a shirt with the Aztec calendar on the front, jeans and winter boots. He remembers having to practically drink the remains of his friend, no his lover down his throat. He knew his friend would understand the reasoning behind that, he wouldn’t want the nanites to fall into evil hands either.

“We were supposed to be immortal together…” Cuauhtemoc yelled out to the clouds, clutching his fists and happy that he was the only one on the beach that dreary day, “Why did you have to have to go…”

He knew he wouldn’t really get an answer, he was a religious man so it was probably the gods will that it was his time. But that knowledge still didn;t get rid of the massive pain he felt and fuck they were supposed to be the only two immortals in the world. They were supposed to spend an eternity happy together, but now he was relegated to watch humanity change and progress over time with no one to understand the loneliness of being immortal.

Cuauhtemoc, against all logical thought, kept shouting towards the sky. He wasn’t sure if the gods can hear him(admittedly they probably got other things to do than to listen to someone who lost their love on a random beach) but he like to think they were, “This wasn’t suppose to happen….look I’m just as religious as the next guy is and I have no agenda to piss you all off….”

He paused to look into the distance, there doesn’t seem to be any huge waves forming or rain forming so he took it as a sign that at least Tlaloc and his wife wasn't annoyed with him already, “Don’t you realize that I am literally the only immortal on this planet? And an AI of sorts even!...Do you guys even realized how fucking lonely I get from being the only kind?! If Ixtlil was still around then I would have someone that would completely understand the cons of being immortal!”

Cuauhtemoc then sat down on the sand and brought his knees up to his chest and his head now in his arms for a good solid 5 minutes before bringing his gaze back up to the sky then back to the san, nobody ever really told him he was going to end up living through this pain and having to deal with it until the end of time.

“500 years and I still miss you...500 years and I still wish you were alive...500 years…..and I think you would be happy to see the huge progress I made…” He knew his lover wouldn’t want him to spend eternity all sad and depressed, and he knew that for centuries now, but sometimes bouts like this occurs and he needs some time to himself before he’ll be able back to his right state of mind.

Thankfully by now bouts like this usually don’t last very long, now only occurring on the day of the death, and even then it was rare to have it be this intense. Usually reading in his office with the door shut for a couple of hours or so would do the trick to make him feel better. 

He hid his head again in his arms for a good while before the clouds parted to let the sunlight finally break through and land on a area of the beach where he was sitting. He felt the sunlight hitting the land around him from out of the corner of his vision, he then perked his head up to see the sun shining through onto the water and the sand. The clouds moving far apart enough to see a stretch of blue sky and maybe that was a sign that everything will be fine, that if he can make it through 500 years without his love then he could make it through another 500.

He couldn’t tell for sure if the sign was the gods doing(most likely Quetzalcoatl if he had to guess) or if it was from his dead love, but it made him feel better nonetheless. He was then filled with a sense of a hopeful feeling that maybe down the line he’ll meet someone just as special as Ixtlil, someone to trust and share the nanites with, and someone to share the kisses with.

Cuauhtemoc got up and took another few seconds of looking at the sky, smiling for the first time that day before turning around to leave back to his truck and to the real world.


End file.
